Yesterday, as I sat with a newly minted friend, we began exchanging ideas.  The topic happened to shift to expectations in a relationship (familial, etc.).  Well…..needless to say, my response may not have been what my associate expected.

While, in theory, it is wonderful to be known as the gracious person who always lends a listening ear – after a while, that can become a bit burdensome .  More than a bit, actually. 

In my family I am known as the one that actively assists in finding a solution to any given problematic scenario which may arise.  Read:  Do not approach me if you are merely in search of someone to listen to rattle on incessantly about your woes.  Ouch, a bit harsh…no?  While I understand the importance of remaining compassionate, I firmly keep several things in mind.

After years of listening to the problems of others without having the ability to effectively clear your mind, a backup occurs.  Many moons ago I would be the compassionate ear others sought while remaining objective enough, not allowing their problems to permeate my psyche.  So I thought.  What I discovered was that if the problems are deemed troubling enough, there are a few that slip past that guard that you have up.  Such a thought can begin to muddle things and adversely effect your well-being. 

Thus, I made a decision several years back.  I explained to everyone that unless they were coming to me for a solution, they may as well speak to someone else regarding said issue(s).  Harsh?  Perhaps.  

 It took everyone a while to swallow, but guess what?  It worked.  Now I am approached by people who are aware that I care about them immensely and want them to overcome what is taking place in their lives by actively working towards a solution instead of dwelling on the issue (and in some cases, wallowing in self-pity). 

Get up.  Get out.  Do Something!  *cue Macy Gray*